Our INAUGURAL MEMORY LOG ~ Giving voice to our Loved ones

On August 20, 2020, my mother, Linda Marie Meletis, passed 

away at the age of sixty-three in a transitional care hospital in 

Norfolk, VA. I would like to share her story and my experiences 

during the nursing home shutdown of 2020. 

Prior to her illness, my mother had a very active social life. She 

cherished spending time with her family and friends, who she 

loved very much. My mother devoted her days to watching my 

two children, while I worked full time, and would tell me that it was 

a labor of love. Church was a big part and great influence in her 

life, as well. Her reverence of God and her Christian beliefs were 

evident as she always accepted everyone for who they were. 

Growing up my mother would often share stories of her own 

childhood. Her summers spent in North Carolina with her 

grandparents, were always one of her fondest memories. She 

often relayed stories of her grandfather and how he had fought in 

World War I, World War II and The Korean War. She recounted 

his love of country and that his bags were always packed and 

ready if his country called him to duty. She also spoke of her 

mother and the atrocities she and her family suffered during the 

German occupation of France. As a result, my mother never took 

anything for granted because she knew things could always be worse.

In 2016 my mother had emergency surgery for an inguinal hernia. 

The surgery proved to be the catalyst to numerous hospital visits 

and surgeries. For the next four years my mother underwent 9 

other surgeries. 

The numerous surgeries inevitably took its toll on my mother. 

Consequently, my mother was on a ventilator, had a 

tracheostomy, an ileostomy and was provided nutrients via TPN. 

Since we did not have the expertise to provide the specialized 

care necessary, my mother was admitted to a transitional care 

facility, prior to Covid. In the facility, we felt my mother would 

receive the proper care necessary for her condition. While my mom was in the facility, we continued to seek professional help to get my mom better. 

By all appearances my mother adjusted quite well to her new 

surroundings. Despite my mother’s on-going pain, she lived each 

day to the fullest. My mother enjoyed attending the many social 

events that the facility held. I remember one Valentine’s Day 

when she gave the gifts that she received to the Children’s ward. 

True to her character my mother made the best out of any 

situation she was in and never complained. She looked forward 

to the daily and weekly visits from her family, friends, and pastor. 

During my visits my mother would often tell me that all she 

wanted was to get better, come home and bake cookies with her 

grandchildren, spend time with her family and friends, and live a 

simple life. We all prayed that day would eventually come. 

However, in March 2020 our lives and hers changed forever. 

I remember visiting my mom, with my Aunt, on the day all nursing 

homes in Virginia went on lock down. Initially, I thought the 

lock down would be for two weeks and told myself that visitations 

would go back to being normal after that time.  Unfortunately, this 

was not the case at all. 

Since the shuttering of nursing facilities were abrupt, I called and 

to see if I could see my mother in person. Because of my 

mother’s tracheostomy, she could only communicate verbally 

when she had her speaking valve on.  I was concerned that my 

mother may not know why, all of a sudden, no one was coming to 

see her. Eventually, I was granted window visits. However, this 

only took place when the facility felt my mother was well enough 

or not in quarantine. 

These visits were not optimal as they were limited, flat without 

physical contact and fully dependent on the facility and its 

changing protocols. In the place of window visits we were now encouraged to continue to communicate via phone, which we used a series of taps; 1 tap for yes and 2 taps for no when asking my mom questions and/or video.   This worked intermittently as the facility would either lose her phone when doing laundry.  It was during one of these calls that I noticed my mother having difficulty tapping on the phone to certain questions. Recognizing something was wrong, I called the nursing station and requested a video of my mother.  When I received the video, my mother did not look well. I immediately called the nurses’ station and spoke to the charge nurse to voice my concerns. I was told my mom was fine and her medications made her tired. For the next several days I called my mother and had the same concerns, which I 

expressed and like before all were disregarded. Days later, under the supervision of a different charge nurse, my mother was transported to the local hospital.   She was eventually diagnosed with sepsis. The hospital was unsure how my mother developed the infection or the length of time. Sadly, within a 4- month period my mother was now paralyzed.   My brother and I had a conference with the facility regarding our concerns. 

We questioned the conflicting information given to the 

hospital by the facility, how she developed sepsis, her current 

paralytic state, and the dismissal of our concerns by the charge 

nurse who claimed my mother was fine. We were told that there 

was a miscommunication. 

Once stable my mother was discharged back to the facility. With 

little notice, many unanswered questions, and no other option 

available, we grudgingly placed my mother back into the facility. 

She was able to move a little but did lose some motion due to 

sepsis, this event advanced my mother’s condition even more. 

Couple of weeks after my mom was sent back to facility, I had called the nurses’ station to check in on her, I was told that there was only a charge nurse and a trainee nurse on the entire floor unit and to call back later. That evening I received a call that my mother had blood coming up the trachea  and she was being transported back to the hospital.  I was told by doctors that my mom was suffering and continued to deteriorate. Consequently, my mom was placed in comfort care,  and was transported back to the facility to spend her remaining 

days. 

With my mom now under hospice, I spoke to the administration to 

arrange for my brother and I to be with my mom. There were 

limited hours that allowed us to be with her and had to follow very 

strict protocols. At first, they weren’t going to allow my mom’s 

mother to come in nor her siblings. I had to plead with facility so 

my grandmother could be with her daughter. 

On August 19, 2020, I sat at my mom’s bedside holding her hand 

and reading her Bible verses. I played her favorite oldies music 

and talked about the good old days. I wrapped my great 

grandmother’s rosary around her tiny fragile fingers. I prayed that 

my mom was in peace and still held out hope that any time, any 

moment a miracle could still happen. 

A nurse came in and checked my mom’s vitals, I was told that I 

needed to get in contact with family members, so they could make 

the 3-hour drive to the facility to say their goodbyes. I had to get 

my charger from my car and was escorted by one of the nurses. 

As we were on the elevator together, she said to me how if it was 

one of her family members, she would have made sure that her 

family was already there. She was also the nurse who told me 

that I had spent enough time with my mom and that there were 

limited hours set by the facility for us to be allowed in there. I felt numb  

and didn’t say anything because I was afraid I could possibly get 

kicked out. 

The day of my mom’s passing, I picked up her belongings from 

the facility. There was an untouched box of fudge that I brought to 

her from the beach a couple of months prior to her passing away. I 

think about it now and wonder if anyone attempted to give her the 

fudge…I know she would have loved it. I dropped off an Easter 

basket and cookies/brownies for the staff, hoping that they would take  

good care of my mother. 

My mom spent her last Easter, Mother’s Day by herself. 

I have sent numerous emails to elected officials about my Mom with little response, it has basically fallen on deaf ears. I would like to know 

why my Mom wasn’t kept safe. Families were torn apart; this 

wasn’t an act of God. Patients rely on their loved ones to 

advocate for them, and that right was taken away. This is 

America, where was the patients’ freedom and rights when their 

loved ones were kept out? 

My mother was a vulnerable patient and relied on the staff to 

properly take care of her. I don’t believe my mom received the 

proper care, especially with banning her loved ones who 

advocated for her and she needed her family around. When we were 

allowed in prior to COVID-19, we always addressed concerns if we 

saw something that wasn’t right. 

There were so many protocols in place by the facility but there 

weren’t measures for mitigating to prevent my mom from 

isolation. My mom would be locked in her room due to quarantine 

for two weeks, after any time she returned from the hospital. No 

window visits were permitted during that time, recreation wasn’t 

allowed in the room to at least do a video, so we could see how 

she was doing during her return from the hospital. 

The shutdown prevented my mom from seeing her loved ones, they  

claimed to be keeping her safe from covid but all it did was isolate her, 

causing depression and infections that manifested. 

I believe that if I was able to be there in person this wouldn’t have 

escalated like it did. The culprit to my mother’s death wasn’t 

COVID-19.   I have no doubt that the mandates during COVID-19 shutdown of 2020 caused my mother’s death sooner than what it could 

have been. What happened was detrimental and people need to 

know the truth.  Criminals were being released from jails and into 

society during Covid019, but patients who did no wrongdoing were 

being kept from their loved ones. 

What happened in these facilities with locking patients down and keeping them away from their families were inhumane, it was a complete nightmare.  Precious time was lost during the five months of my mom’s life.  She was kept away from her family during that time. Often, I was told by staff that my mom was depressed due to not being 

allowed to see her family.    My mom and so many other patients 

didn’t deserve to be torn from their families and have their rights 

stripped away.   What happened there and at so many other 

facilities shouldn’t have occurred. No matter shutdown or not, it 

should have been handled differently. 

I was blessed to have one of the best Mom’s and will always cherish the memories, her legacy will always live on through us.  I feel her around me often and know that her suffering no longer exists and she’s free; she will  always remain in my heart, until we’re together again. I hope that my Mom’s story opens the eyes of many, and that these vulnerable patients don’t go unnoticed for what they endured during the Covid-19 shutdown.